I was praying this morning, asking God for some things that I want, and praising Him for what I have. I began thinking about all the blessings He's given me, and realized that He has given me everything that I've ever wanted and more.
I've always had pictures in my head of how my life would look, how it would play out. While none of it played out the way I planned, somehow, I have still been blessed with all of it.
I graduated college, got married to an amazing man, finished graduate school, have a wonderful job, and now we are talking babies. They are all typical things that most people want from life, but I did a lot along the way to mess things up.
I shouldn't have been able to have all this. I made a lot of choices that should have made several of those blessings disappear. And, like I said they didn't all happen the way I thought they would.
There were a lot of bumps along the way. Jeff's brain injury being a major one. Yet, somehow those bumps made life even better.
I have a relationship with God now that is just beyond description. I was just telling Him this morning how much I love our relationship because I can sit and talk to Him like a friend, like He's sitting right next to me. I don't have to bow my head and close my eyes. I don't have to pray some formal prayer. There is a time and place for that, but mostly, I can just have a conversation with Him. I can share anything and everything, there are no secrets. I can sit and cry, yell at Him, thank Him, praise Him, ask for something, or say nothing at all and just bask in His presence.
I am simply amazed at how God has worked in my life. How He has given me everything I ever wanted, in a way that I never thought was possible, never would have asked for, and yet it is better than anything I could have imagined.
All the while, knowing that I deserve none of it. I have done nothing to earn it.
The only reason is because God is good, and He loves me.