Tuesday, August 27, 2013


It's been over 2 years now since Jeff's accident, and I'm pretty well adjusted. I can usually talk about it without tearing up (unless of course I'm speaking and there are 100 pairs of eyes staring at me). But there are still a few times that I get caught off guard and the memories come flooding back.

This morning, I was driving to work and saw an ambulance pull out of a hotel and get on the highway. It had the sirens on, but wasn't going super-fast, it kept up with the flow of traffic. So I could see it for most of my drive into San Antonio to work.

About halfway there, it dawned on me that Jeff's ambulance did the same thing. It didn't go to the hospital in New Braunfels where the accident was because his injuries were too severe. Instead it got on the highway and made the drive to San Antonio.

Suddenly all the memories from that night started flooding back. Waiting for the ambulance to arrive, talking to the EMTs, following the ambulance to the hospital. All the images were playing back, and the emotions came back with them.

Like I said, I've pretty much adjusted to it, so it didn't make me cry, but feelings of anxiety overwhelmed me. It was stunned by how something so trivial could trigger such strong memories.

So I just started praying for that person in the ambulance, and the family. Then I have to go back to life as normal, because time keeps ticking by. I can't dwell on the past.

It's time to start another day, and look for an opportunity to encourage someone else today. I refuse to allow Satan to use Jeff's accident to hinder me. Instead, I will allow God to use it as a tool to lift others up during a dark time in their lives.

How will you allow God use you today to encourage someone else?


Tuesday, August 20, 2013


School starts today so it is a busy time for me. I am amazed though at my anxiety level this year compared to last year.

I am a planner, and like to have everything ready and know how it's all going to work out. This time of year though, it really isn't possible because there are so many changes and uncertanties.

Usually, my anxiety level would be really high during these times. However, I have a wonderful sense of peace. I have watched God take care of everything before, and now I'm able to trust that He will again. Even if it doesn't go the way I plan, it will all eventually get worked out.

I am completely awed at the changes that God has made that I am able to feel within myself. God promises to give me a new heart and He has truly done that. I feel like a different person than I was just a couple years ago.

It wasn't an overnight transformation, and I'm definitely not perfect, but I can see and feel the changes God is making within me.

Comment below, what changes have you seen God make in you, or someone you know?


Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Opening Up

Everyday, we meet people. Most people we meet, seem to have it together. You would never know what is going on behind the mask they wear for everyone else. I find this true especially at church.

You get up, dress nice, fix hair and makeup, and head to church. On the way there, you argue with your family and cut people off in traffic. When you walk through those doors though, you put on your prettiest church smile, and when someone asks how you are, you respond with "Great!" Forget that your husband lost his job last week, you were just diagnosed with cancer, had a miscarriage, or found out your spouse is leaving you.

No one wants to open up and share those things. We want to put on the happy face and pretend that nothing is wrong. We want to look like we have it all together.

I've found though, when I open up, it's amazing what other people will do. When they find out that my husband has a traumatic brain injury, and the journey that took us through, all of a sudden, people are willing to share their own struggles.

Suddenly, I'm not some perfect, put-together, have it all woman. I'm real. I'm broken. I've experienced tragedy and prevailed. People can relate to that. We are all broken. We have all experienced tragedy in some form.

I've found that people want to talk about their hurts, but they are afraid of being judged. But when I open up first, and share my honest struggles, it grants a free pass for them to do the same. I don't put icing on my struggles. I'm honest about what I was thinking. I struggled with how to pray, how to get through the day, how to stay married to a man who wasn't the person I said "I Do" to. I have real struggles, real feelings.

When I am open to share that, it's amazing what people will tell me. There's a sense of acceptance in their eyes. Not acceptance for me, but a feeling that they will be accepted by me. I see in their eyes that they can believe that I will understand if they share their struggles too. And it gives me the opportunity to share of someone else who will accept them no matter what they have done.

Over the years, I have tried to share Jesus with people. But I always got in the way. I went about it wrong. I tried to tell the story instead of share the love. In the last 2 years though, I've found that all I have to do is share my story, just open up. When I share what I've gone through, my struggles, it gives me an opportunity to share Christ's love without forcing it. When I set aside my agenda, God gives me the opportunity to serve Him.

Jesus said to love others. When I love others, His love shines through me. God has given me a story to share. He has provided me with an opportunity to love others through sharing the story He gave me. When I share this story, it provides me with the opportunity to listen to someone else's hurts. It makes me real again. All I have to do is open up.

What story has God given you to share?


Tuesday, August 6, 2013


This weekend, Jeff and I were blessed with a wonderful trip to the coast. We spent 4 days in Port Aransas relaxing, and enjoying some time together.

We were able to lounge by the pool, swim in the ocean, and go fishing. We took a walk on the beach at sunset, which was beautiful.

I love watching the sunset. The brilliant colors in the sky bounced off the surface of the water, making it that much more beautiful. We try our best to capture that beauty with pictures and paintings, but nothing compares to the real thing.

We try in so many areas of our lives to imitate something that God created, and we fall short. Our imitations may be nice, but compared to what God can do, it’s just a child’s drawing. We try to fill the void in our lives with money, prestige, careers, family; but nothing can compare to the indescribable joy of following God’s will for our lives.

So the next time you watch the sun set, or witness some other beauty only God can create, remember that He does the same works in our own lives, if we will only seek His will before our own. He will create masterpieces in our lives that we couldn’t even begin to imagine.