Monday, April 15, 2013

Why Me?

There are so many brain injuries that happen every day, and they all have different outcomes. Some are minor and may go unnoticed. Others spend months in the hospital and make miraculous recovery. Still others are drastically and forever changed, life will never return to anything that resembles “normal”.

I’ve read so many books about other people that suffered a TBI, and while they made amazing recovery, they weren’t like my husband’s recovery. His truly was a miracle. I have a hard time understanding it.

It’s easier to look at families that don’t know God and see why they wouldn’t get a miracle. They don’t know to ask for one, and if they got one, they wouldn’t understand what it was. But what about those families that have thriving relationships with God and don’t get the miracle? I know a pastor whose son has a brain injury and he still has major life-altering struggles years after his accident. I know she has prayed for a miracle for him, and so have I. So why hasn’t he received the miracle healing?

I know it’s not because of anything we have done. I’m not perfect, I have sinned just as much as the next person. I’m not any more righteous or deserving than anyone else. I probably didn’t even pray as much as some other people have. Yet, my husband is a miracle. He made more recovery than what was possible in our human standards and capabilities.

The only explanation is the grace of God. He chooses who He wants. It’s part of His plan. “Why me?” isn’t any more explainable than why God choose to leave His throne in heaven to come down to earth and live among us, to become one of us. Not only that, but He died for us. He died for me. I didn’t do anything to deserve that. On the contrary, what I did was deserving of death. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
I can’t even wrap my mind around that. God’s love for us is so great that we can’t even fathom it. The love parents have for their children can’t even hold a candle to God’s love for us. He chooses to bless us all in different ways. God knows our wants and needs better than we do. For Jeff and I, what was best for us, and what glorified God the most, was to heal Jeff. For others, what is best for them is the journey itself.

We may not be able to understand it this side of heaven, but someday we will. Someday, we will be able to look back on our lives and see all the things we thought were curses and realize they were blessings in disguise. Maybe for us, maybe it was for someone else. Either way, we have to know that “God works out all things for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

What is God asking you to trust Him with?

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